Counselling - Who Taught You How to Be Happily Married?

Change is not a dirty word! At least, it needn't be in relation to your dating or marriage relationship. If you're reading this, it's safe to say that you long for some degree of improvement. The challenge people often face is centered around their deeply held beliefs about marriage. Many of these beliefs they are unaware of or simply unclear about. Each of us have deeply held beliefs about many things. It's of utmost importance for people to reflect on some of their core relationship beliefs and keep the good and eliminate the bad.

Love is all that we need. Countless numbers of people who commit to marriage are held captive by this belief. It's blatantly false and the cause of much heartache.

Who taught you how to have a haromonious and happy marriage? It's a very strange question. It certainly isn't one that gets asked very often. Who taught you how to drive a car? Almost everyone can answer that question with ease. When I ask the average person about their marriage beliefs, their eyes glaze over.

Ask yourself the following question. Would you consider going on vacation without first planning out key parts of your trip? The average person would plan out their trip. Their vacation is important enough to them. They would never think of going to the airport and taking some random flight.

Somewhere along the way many of us adopted the belief that happily married people are just lucky. Nothing could be further from the truth. Happily married people consistently work to become better people. They consistently work on becoming better spouses.

Some work on becoming better listeners. Others need to practice sharing their feelings without attacking their mate. Still others, are busying working at learning how to ask for what they want. They have rejected the false belief they used to have regarding their spouse's ability to read their mind.

The vast majority of people entered marriage without any training. Millions of people have to deal with this sad fact. Those who enjoy a harmonious marriage don't let this hinder their progress as a couple. Engagement in a process of practicing new behaviours is required for a successful marriage. Practice does not make it perfect, but it usually makes thing better.

Are there beliefs about relationships that are holding you back? If you're part of the majority who received little training, don't despair. In this day and age there is plenty of great help for those in need. Make sure not to get down on yourself. You're actually normal, because very few people had good role models.

The beliefs you have about marriage can change for the better. If you've adopted some negative beliefs that are hindering you, they also can be adjusted. Luck has very little to do with building a good solid marriage relationship. A better marriage is most closely tied to one's intent to improve.


------

In addition to being a regularly featured guest on radio, Chris Keenan is the founder of http://www.easyrelationshiphelp.com They are the leaders in low cost - risk free relationship help. Get your free copy of "How to Prevent Your Relationship From Losing Value" at http://www.easyrelationshiphelp.com